This past March, my husband and I welcomed our first ever bundle of joy, Hunter, who is now 4.5 months and I literally can’t believe how quickly the time has gone. Those first few weeks with our sweet little boy are a fuzzy blur of pure joy. Pure, exhausting joy. Looking back now, those first few weeks felt like they would go on forever, each day feeling like it would never end in my sleep deprived state, each day being full of new little exciting firsts, my anxiety slowly decreasing as I gained more confidence in myself (and my dear husband) that we would not break this beautiful, tiny, helpless little human that we co-created. It is SO scary being totally responsible for a little 7.12oz bag of milk, isn’t it?! My lovely mother, who lives in Ontario (we live in BC) flew down a week before my due date and stuck around for the first three weeks of Hunter’s life and I will forever cherish these 4 weeks with her staying with us. I was so scared of everything, the umbilical cord…his first bath…not supporting his neck enough…literally everything. Between her and my husband, I feel like I was able to stay somewhat sane during those early weeks of recovering physically and mentally from giving birth and becoming a mama. My definition of “somewhat sane” is likely much different than yours. As I sit here, both laughing and crying writing this, I realize how much of a nut I was at times. Navigating my way through motherhood was and always will be a constant journey; a journey that I will never take for granted.
During my pregnancy (my long, sometimes beautiful, sometimes rough, insomnia filled pregnancy) I did so much research, like every mama-to-be. I read all the books, did all the online research, we showed up to each and every midwife appointment with an actual LIST of questions/concerns to discuss, not one of these resources talked about how truly CHALLENGING somethings would be. How come no one told me that nursing would be my biggest hurtle in the early days? In fact, I was told “it’s just natural, it comes easy for you and the baby.” Umm…really? Maybe I’m a one-off, but I personally did not find this “easy”. I found this hard and painful in my early days! My patience, dedication and strong willingness to breastfeed my babe got me through it. Just when I thought this baby making body of mine couldn’t amaze me anymore, the fact that I could grow and nourish my little babe solely with my body, was pretty friggin’ beautiful and amazing. With that being said, I realize it is near impossible for some new mamas out there, and that is completely OKAY. Being a mom, you have to do what is best for YOU (& your body) AND YOUR BABY, no matter what society tells you is “right” or “wrong.” Each mama is different, each baby is different, more than ever before, you need to do you and not worry about what other people think and say. Easier said than done, I know! I never knew how strong my motherly instincts could be until our little bundle of joy arrived, follow them and trust them, mamas!
What was your biggest challenge in the early days? Please share with me!
Thanks for reading!